I had my appointment with the doctor yesterday where she began to explain what hospice care is. She asked if I knew what it is and I immediately responded by pointing out what this appointment was all about. I told her that the time had come to discontinue aggressive chemo therapy and start providing me with morphine for the on coming pain from the advancing cancer. Like any doctor she would not guess at the time left to me, it could be a week or a month or a year. What I do know is that now I have to deal with a very strong pain on a daily basis, there will not be any more chemo, and no more aggressive medical therapy, just pain medication of varying strength. This does not mean that I am giving up! By no means. Now a different battle begins. We all know the final outcome, what we don’t know is the time allowed!!! The quality of that time is the important issue. How and with whom I spend my time will be of up most importance. Obviously the Mrs. and I will be getting a lot closer, If that is possible.
Right now I am living a very guarded life in which the Mrs. watches my every move and attempts to guard against any possible falls which is the main concern apart from the onset of the convulsions themselves. As far as convulsions are concerned, apart from taking the medication there is nothing else that can be done. Convulsions have a sneaky way of popping up and creating havoc. I know that when I go through one I have no memory whatsoever of the event, and it is the Mrs. who must recount the event to me. What she told me of this last episode was a horror story in the way in which my body reacted. She told me of how a foam gather around my mouth and how my eyes rolled back into my head and my body shook violently.
What the next developments are is any body‘s guess. I am new to all of this and like everybody else have to look up the numbers. For now I can only relate the events as they take place.
Before I forget, let me wish every one a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
One Comment
Mi hermano. All I can say as I’ve said before, I am here when you need me. My heart and prayers are with you, your wife and family.